The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly Week 7

After watching this week in football, I've realized that no team is dominating the league, which leaves every NFL fan on the edge of their seat every weekend. This is 100 times better than waiting to see who is going to lose to the Patriots every week. 

The Good - The Titans stayed undefeated, and the press conference with Lendale White and Chris Johnson was priceless. While Chris Johnson just sat there and smacked on his gum, Lendale laid it down and explained how they beat the shitty Chiefs. Also, the Texans won again, which makes any Sunday good unto itself. Also, the Chiefs found their franchise QB in Tyler Thigpen by default with the loss of Damon Huard and Brodie Croyle for the season. 

The Bad - Reggie Bush went down with a knee injury and will be out for 2-4 weeks, which is no doubt a bummer. Brett Favre could not move the ball at all, despite all the hype. The Broncos made me turn off Monday Night football in the 3rd Quarter because New England was mopping their faces with the turf. Jeremy Shockey and Kellen Winslow Jr. talked shit about both of their teams, and coincidentally they are both having uncomfortable groin problems. 

The Ugly - The Cowboys came out this week and looked like shit against the Rams. I usually watch the games on Sunday among many rowdy Cowboys fans, yet this past Sunday, they all seemed to be asleep by the time the game was over. The Colts lost to the Packers in Lambeau, and Peyton Manning couldn't complete more than 50% of his passes. Last but not least - The Bengals. Only winless team left (Besides the Lions) - 07' Dolphins?

What? Really? Yes....

On Sunday, which may have been the longest game I've ever seen, the Raiders beat the Jets with a 57 Yard field goal by Sebastian Janikowski. Janikowski had tried field goals up to almost 70 yards and has missed 3 of them from 50 yards or more this season. As a huge Brett Favre fan, watching him fail to move the ball into scoring range 3 times in overtime alone hurt my soul. I grit my teeth and squinted my eyes when Janikowski prepared for his game winner, and unfortunatly he made it. 

After the win, Janikowski supposedly chugged a whole bottle of Vodka, made numerous racial slurs and punched a autograph seeker in the face. 

Brett Favre Can Cure Cancer

Is anyone troubled by the recent news that Brett Favre got Tony Romo on the phone and told him to suck it up and play this Sunday? Does that work with anyone? Can Brett Favre call anyone who is ailing and cure them by just mentioning his track record? It seems as if Tony Romo wants to play Sunday against the Rams, although he has a broken pinkie on his throwing hand. Maybe he should get Jon Kitna on the phone.

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly for Week 6

The Good - The Browns and my main man Derek Anderson showed that they CAN play in the playoffs and they CAN put up mad fantasy numbers. Even though I had no confidence in Derek and yanked him for Matt Ryan 10 minutes before the noon games, he still stole my heart on Monday Night. Another great thing is that the freakin' Texans won. Yes we broke out of our season long losership, and it almost made for a 21 year old heart attack. QB Draw on 4th and 3, with 3 seconds on the clock? Jesus. Also, the Jets won, and Brett Favre threw 3 Touchdown passes. Unfortunatly, only one of them counted, because their offensive line can't resist the urge to get open for a downfield pass from the great one. Again, 21 year old heart attack.

The Bad - Tony Gonzalez is still a Chief. He is extremely mad about this and for good reason. It's like an old person stuck in a shitty, run-down retirement home. It's cold, dark, and you know you are going to die there. The Colts decided this week was going to be the week that they turn back the clock and turn into the old Colts. Just so happens this was the week I was playing Peyton Manning. I was watching the game on Sunday Ticket, and I couldn't get away from him. Every time he would throw a touchdown pass to Reggie Wayne or Starvin' Marvin, it would go to a commercial, where he is restraining a chicken from murdering a non-sports fan. Thank god he did or it would of gotten nasty.

The Ugly - Jon Kitna has been placed on Injured Reserve, offically ending the Lions season. Not that Kitna is even a decent Quarterback, but at least he doesn't trot out of his own endzone. The Redskins lost to the Rams at home and in an ugly fashion. Let's just say Jon Jansen wont be taking any snaps at Wide Reciver this week.

Favre Pranks

Brett Favre is a funny guy. I mean it's not every day you see an NFL Quarterback throw some dead carcass in one of his starting outside linebackers' lockers. Supposedly Favre stuffed a dead turkey into a bag, mixed with blood and guts and left it in Eric Barton's locker. Probably the most media that Eric Barton has ever recieved in his NFL career, and chances are he doesn't give a shit, cuz the janitorial crew probably had to clean it up, so no problem there. But it seems as if there are a few pissed off animal activists that think that Brett's prank was very "Vick-like". Look, if Favre killed the Turkey, took it home and fed it to Deanna and the kids, noone would say shit, but since it was used for a hilarious prank, it wasn''t funny. Personally, as my starting fantasy quarterback, I think its fuckin' hilarious. Im glad he's showing some life at his old age. I think if the Jets win this upcoming game, a dead carcass is in order for every week, starting with grumpy old Lavernaues Coles. I tell you what, if Chad Pennington would of tried something like this, he would of been bitch slapped.

Fantasy Woes

The worst day of the week is inevitably Tuesday, the day I find out every week, what I feared after the Monday Night game. Another Loss. I must of used all of my fantasy luck in week 1, when somehow the league MVP went down with a mutilated knee because since then the fantasy gods have taken a huge dump on my chest. I know hearing other people's fantasy problems interests noone, but I have said nothing about it all season. I have lost 4 games in a row, a feat I have only broken once in my fantasy career. I have put together a list of things I have observed along this 4 game hell march, some tendancies that maybe some of you have had in the past. I am listing these things in hopes that things will change in week 6.

1. When your RB gets a 5 yard run, you quietly pump your fist.
2. While watching some of your IDP players, you catch yourself thinking "I think my guy got an arm in there"
3. You feel like you want to cry when your QB can't convert a 3rd and short
4. You hope that your players rack up some much needed points in trash time
5. When your friends start talking about Fantasy Football, you change the subject, afraid of them mentioning your shame.
6. You turn off the Monday Night game when you realized you've lost
7. You consider a Monday Night defensive interception for a touchdown by your linebacker a sincere possibility.
8. You start rearranging next week's lineup on Sunday Night
9. Watching opposing team's players scares you beyond any movie you've ever seen since you were 8.
10. You start rooting for the actual good teams to start beating the mediocre playoff competition
11. You check the waiver wire 200 times a day, at least.
12. You consider Trading for some Lions while they are at a low price
13. Your favorite players have become trade bait for useless crap (at least they don't have a bye)
14. You wake up at night yelling "Keep it away from Brandon Marshall dammit!"
15. You start thinking about what it would be like to have someone like Adrian Peterson next year.

These things are scary. It's quicksand that you DO NOT want to experience. Once these things have taken hold of you, rarely to you return to normal form, but I am set on doing so this year. Let's just hope that Derek Anderson and Brett Favre play like they were born to play, because I'm going down with the ship.

Walk the Plank

The Rams must of read my post a few days ago and gave Linehan the axe. Haslett will take over, who did a pretty nice job with the saints a few years ago, and he will immediatly reinstate Bulger as his QB. On another note, Brett Favre threw 6 Touchdowns this week, and for some reason I still fell 2 points short on fantasy. I was rooting for the Texans all the way down the stretch, because they are my team, even though I was facing Matt Schaub (35.75 Fantasy Points), and they still lost. It seems like every sunday somebody sticks a big knife in my heart, takes it out, and pats me on the back as if to say "You'll get em' next week". Texans are winless, my fantasy record is 2-6 collectively, and I just drank the last Shiner in my fridge. Where is this light at the end of the tunnel everyone talks about?