Are you Hootie?

Was anyone else watching the blowout in New York on Sunday, and watched Anquan Boldin go down and ask yourself "Am I watching Jerry Maguire?". I fully expected him to get up and do some crazy ass spin and start to breakdance in the endzone for the enjoyment of the Meadowlands fans. I watched and waited.....waited some more....changed the channel to the Rams - Bills game, turned it back....waited....no dancing. He was just loaded onto the stretcher and taken off the field. But wait? Where's Drew Rosehaus? Was he not waiting there for an emotional tearful hug? No little kid with glasses that make his eyes look 10 times bigger than they actually are? What a ripoff. 

Walk the Plank

The Rams must of read my post a few days ago and gave Linehan the axe. Haslett will take over, who did a pretty nice job with the saints a few years ago, and he will immediatly reinstate Bulger as his QB. On another note, Brett Favre threw 6 Touchdowns this week, and for some reason I still fell 2 points short on fantasy. I was rooting for the Texans all the way down the stretch, because they are my team, even though I was facing Matt Schaub (35.75 Fantasy Points), and they still lost. It seems like every sunday somebody sticks a big knife in my heart, takes it out, and pats me on the back as if to say "You'll get em' next week". Texans are winless, my fantasy record is 2-6 collectively, and I just drank the last Shiner in my fridge. Where is this light at the end of the tunnel everyone talks about?

Week 4 Eve

On the night before Week 4, I will go to sleep with high hopes that Marshawn Lynch will fulfill his destiny and throw down 100 yards and reach paydirt twice to catapult me to my second fantasy win of the season. I know what your thinking - 2nd win? Thats weak. But Listen, Derek Anderson was not supposed to be the flop he has been, he's just been playing the fucking superdefenses around the league. Now that he gets to play a college level defense that is the Bengals, we can see what he can really do. I just hope the grinch doesn't visit my house tonight and steal all my fantasy touchdown dreams.

Cowherless

Bill Cowher has announced he won't be coaching until at least 2011. Those of us who miss the endless spitting and yelling will just have to wait (or watch the CBS pregame). It seems like Cowher could step in and catapult a couple shitty teams into the playoffs right now. I mean have you seen the talent that the Rams have? It's almost like Linehan has never coached football before, and his players despise him. Steven Jackson said about Bulger "He's our General....You don't pay someone $60-something million to sit him on the bench". Obviously, Bulger is pissed, but to the point of not wanting to play for the Rams anymore. Not the worst team in football, but definately the worst coached. What ever happened to the greatest show on turf?

Rookie Mistake

Rashard Mendenhall supposedly "accidently" texted Ray Rice, the backup that shares time in Baltimore, some trash talk that shook up the defense today. So does Rashard have Ray Rice in his phonebook? Do all rookies exchange numbers at the combine or something? I dont buy it Rahsard, I think you did it on purpose. Just pray Ray Lewis and the Raven's D don't mangle your family after that little mix up. 

C'mon Romeo

When Derek Anderson sold his soul to the devil last year, Satan apparently did not include 2008 in the deal. Braylon Edwards also made the deal, but at first refused unless he was aloud to say "It's Braylon" in an NFL Network commercial. I hope the devil has sympathy on poor Derek this week against a Cincinatti defense that couldn't keep up with mean Joe Flacco on foot. Derek will do good enough in week 4 so that he temporarily keeps his job, but he doesn't have much time. Satan isn't too kind to QB's. just ask Tom Brady.

Regarding the Top 10 through Week 3

Did anyone see how somehow the top 5 Defensive players were cornerbacks? Usually the top players have more tackles than other peoples points but not so in the first three weeks. Also, Johnnie Lee Higgins has snuck up to number 6 in receivers, pretty impressive for a guy who sounds like he should be in a Mark Twain book. Did someone say it was going to be a WR year? I'm pretty sure it's a backup RB year, with 2 out of the top 10 and number 11 and 12 all being backups.

QB Roulette

It seems like every year the same teams struggle with absolutely shitty QB's and refuse to change their stubborn ways. The Kansas City Cheifs inquired about getting Brady Quinn of all people this week, trying to break up with short time girlfriend Tyler Thigpen. Adam Schefter was talking about how, by the way that Thigpen played this last week, there are probably better QB's on NFL practice squads. I think he's right. My roommate this week started Tyler Thigpen, and watching him cringe in pain every time KC got the ball was heartwrenching (but also guiltfully satisfying). On Sundays I check NFL.com every breath I take, and it seemed I could never catch KC with the ball, because they were always playing defense. This week the Cheifs will start Damon Huard, and I will again make sure to keep that channel off my Sunday ticket for the second week in a row.

It's here!

The NFL season finally kicked off last night with the Giants beating the Redskins 16 - 7. Alot of people will say that the Giants looked sharp, but to me, besides that first drive and Plaxico catching everything thrown his way, they didn't look like Super Bowl champs. I think it was more a culmination of the Redskins looking awful. They could not get a pass rush on Eli unless they sent 6 or 7, and even then Eli usually got it off.

On a humerous side note, one of my roommates was looking for a quick fix to his Fantasy TE problem before week 1 since he lost Benjamin Watson to injuries. Needless to say we were drunk preceding the first game of the NFL season, and knowing that he is kind of new to fantasy, I suggested Kevin Boss (Giants TE) to fill his hole. He agreed and Boss caught 0 passes for 0 yards.

It's a cutthroat world out there, don't always believe what you hear - Noob