Tuesday, October 7, 2008
The worst day of the week is inevitably Tuesday, the day I find out every week, what I feared after the Monday Night game. Another Loss. I must of used all of my fantasy luck in week 1, when somehow the league MVP went down with a mutilated knee because since then the fantasy gods have taken a huge dump on my chest. I know hearing other people's fantasy problems interests noone, but I have said nothing about it all season. I have lost 4 games in a row, a feat I have only broken once in my fantasy career. I have put together a list of things I have observed along this 4 game hell march, some tendancies that maybe some of you have had in the past. I am listing these things in hopes that things will change in week 6.
1. When your RB gets a 5 yard run, you quietly pump your fist.
2. While watching some of your IDP players, you catch yourself thinking "I think my guy got an arm in there"
3. You feel like you want to cry when your QB can't convert a 3rd and short
4. You hope that your players rack up some much needed points in trash time
5. When your friends start talking about Fantasy Football, you change the subject, afraid of them mentioning your shame.
6. You turn off the Monday Night game when you realized you've lost
7. You consider a Monday Night defensive interception for a touchdown by your linebacker a sincere possibility.
8. You start rearranging next week's lineup on Sunday Night
9. Watching opposing team's players scares you beyond any movie you've ever seen since you were 8.
10. You start rooting for the actual good teams to start beating the mediocre playoff competition
11. You check the waiver wire 200 times a day, at least.
12. You consider Trading for some Lions while they are at a low price
13. Your favorite players have become trade bait for useless crap (at least they don't have a bye)
14. You wake up at night yelling "Keep it away from Brandon Marshall dammit!"
15. You start thinking about what it would be like to have someone like Adrian Peterson next year.
These things are scary. It's quicksand that you DO NOT want to experience. Once these things have taken hold of you, rarely to you return to normal form, but I am set on doing so this year. Let's just hope that Derek Anderson and Brett Favre play like they were born to play, because I'm going down with the ship.